benny, 21. wish i spoke more

I Still See You So Clearly When I Close My Eyes

I still see you so clearly when I close my eyes, I can still see all your beautiful imperfections that never bothered me and all you features like their right in front of me. I still sit at the same table in the same spot as the first night I met you, I still look at the same spot you sat in when I winked at you and you broke the ice with that beautiful smile. I still see you sitting at the skate park watching me and I still remember your voice at that age and how you used to look at me and how I used to look at you when I knew you weren’t looking my way. I remember how when you flirted back with me the first time I was so shocked I couldn’t retaliate. I still sleep in the same bed as I slept in with you, I still wear the same smell as I did when I met you and I still shower in the same bathroom that we had so many grown up moments in. I still use the tooth brush I let you borrow when you where staying at my house, I’ve kept all our memories in our photo album we were building for the kids we’ll never have. I remember how it felt when you sat in my lap and would laugh and the way your cheekbones felt when I kissed them, I remember how your lips and your lips alone where the softest lips I’ve ever kissed and how I would bite your lip in the middle of a kiss and then you would bite mine, I remember waking up late with you on weekends and how the first hour was always dedicated to waking me up properly and how loosely my shirts would hang off your body. I remember how your body felt under those shirts, so soft. I remember how hot you would get and how impossible it was to sleep next to you in the summer in my bedroom because your a natural furnace, and how nice it felt when you would lay on my chest to fall asleep. I remember our first date and how we both got really drunk but you more so, I remeber how cute you were when you got drunk, I always fell in love with you. I remember all the nights spent at your house I remember how much I used to look up to your parents because I thought that we would end up as happy as them. I love your family so fucking much. The only Christmas I remember enjoying is the Christmas I spent with you and your family, I remember how much you used to make me laugh when it was just us and how you made me feel so cool you put everything into us and I’m sorry I never gave that to  you, I remember the last night we spent on the beach together at night and how even though we were dying I was so happy to be there with you, the drive home to macklemores same love with your head on my shoulder driving down the boulouvard with the lights on was heaven for me. There’s no fucking future without you its the end of the fucking world for me we weren’t perfect but we were the best thing I had and I let you leave, I pushed you away. Lois Chloe Beale you are the most beautiful girl on the planet I’m convinced that nobody will ever make me feel as you did nobody makes the cut after you. Your with another man now he better fucking know how good he has it, I cant be here if your not with me so I’m leaving the country as soon as I can I still love you  

more then you know


Life is really fucking weird at the moment.

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Tom, Sidney Myer Music Bowl, Melbourne, 26/2/2013 (x)

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Underwater Dogs by Seth Casteel!

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Star Trails Over Twilight Thunderstorm (by Jeffrey Sullivan)


Star Trails Over Twilight Thunderstorm (by Jeffrey Sullivan)

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I dance so much better in my mind than I do in real life

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